








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1347 | 13% |
| Smokes | 3496 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3688 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $906,838 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diamond | 70% | 161 |
| #2 | Вall[Z?] | 70% | 150 |
| #3 | mmoo | 66% | 82 |
| #4 | BeatingBros | 66% | 102 |
| #5 | halucid | 66% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0shDirty | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | HOLY COW | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Diamond | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Вall[Z?] | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | F_cker | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOLY COW | 268 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | BeatingBros | 215 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | J0shDirty | 192 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | mmoo | 183 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | dirty30 | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diamond | +4.65 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | JohnnyDangerous™ | +2.87 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Вall[Z?] | +2.56 | 56 | 39 |
| #4 | halucid | +2.30 | 71 | 33 |
| #5 | mmoo | +2.21 | 74 | 64 |





