








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1920 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1146 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8147 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17481 | 39% |
| Smokes | 14816 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2099 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 10120 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,244,327 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 387 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeremydrums | 54% | 74 |
| #2 | BadAsMightyMouse | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | ethan | 48% | 152 |
| #4 | FkN | Ninja | 48% | 254 |
| #5 | Soup | 43% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BadAsMightyMouse | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | ethan | 48% | 152 |
| #4 | FkN | Ninja | 48% | 254 |
| #5 | Soup | 43% | 115 |
| #6 | Swisher Sweet | 41% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethan | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Soup | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Swisher Sweet | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | BadAsMightyMouse | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | FkN | Ninja | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BadAsMightyMouse | 481 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Soup | 438 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Swisher Sweet | 207 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | jeremydrums | 169 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | FkN | Ninja | 109 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micheliche33 | +1.02 | 45 | 66 |
| #2 | BadAsMightyMouse | +0.19 | 48 | 72 |
| #3 | FkN | Ninja | -0.01 | 58 | 17 |
| #4 | Swisher Sweet | -1.22 | 35 | 41 |
| #5 | jeremydrums | -1.61 | 34 | 54 |





