








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 589 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9172 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4408 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5229 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6290 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,314 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank_Costanza_1 | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | simpy | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | cHeX | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | KEWI | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | Dr.Explo | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Dr.Explo | 52% | 31 |
| #6 | Micheliche33 | 51% | 104 |
| #7 | Its.Luco | 48% | 31 |
| #8 | FkN | Ninja | 47% | 55 |
| #9 | longshot911_kick.com/therealkewi | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Explo | 17 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | Micheliche33 | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | cHeX | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Frank_Costanza_1 | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | KEWI | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micheliche33 | 338 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Frank_Costanza_1 | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dr.Explo | 124 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | KEWI | 118 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Its.Luco | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frank_Costanza_1 | +2.62 | 65 | 53 |
| #2 | Micheliche33 | +0.85 | 42 | 66 |
| #3 | KEWI | +0.76 | 42 | 56 |
| #4 | simpy | +0.49 | 41 | 46 |
| #5 | Dr.Explo | +0.30 | 16 | 29 |





