








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2014 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1804 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2201 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1197 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,727 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | roach* | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | .jenz | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | OpuR3 | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | TheFoxx23 | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | herc | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Juli8n | 38% | 13 |
| #15 | ---mUcK!--- | 38% | 16 |
| #16 | DaBaws | 37% | 19 |
| #17 | Garrett L. | 35% | 23 |
| #18 | Flauschii | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaL. | +5.12 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | roach* | +4.13 | 92 | 79 |
| #3 | .jenz | +3.69 | 61 | 89 |
| #4 | DerOberDude | +3.33 | 58 | 73 |
| #5 | Juli8n | +1.04 | 75 | 69 |





