








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 376 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,034 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3340 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3533 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4018 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4143 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,763,404 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BOSS | 48% | 159 |
| #9 | DerOberDude | 48% | 235 |
| #10 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 47% | 276 |
| #11 | Mcgamer | 46% | 137 |
| #12 | Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerOberDude | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Mcgamer | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BOSS | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | 11MinutenGames | 4 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerOberDude | 646 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | Charles Spliffskowsky | 553 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | BOSS | 517 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Mcgamer | 480 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #5 | 11MinutenGames | 109 | 0.16 | 3 min |





