








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 709 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3810 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7921 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5682 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5065 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,559,757 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | 52% | 62 |
| #2 | (>_VOSS_<) | 51% | 125 |
| #3 | Straat-Kat | 50% | 163 |
| #4 | Roarry420 | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Bigfatfrogg | 49% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JudeSN | 48% | 211 |
| #7 | OckertM | 47% | 146 |
| #8 | Achmed | 46% | 50 |
| #9 | HyTeChShOrTy | 45% | 55 |
| #10 | CaitTheSingher | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JudeSN | 17 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Imagine Wagons | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | (>_VOSS_<) | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | OckertM | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Bigfatfrogg | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JudeSN | 1162 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | OckertM | 571 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | Straat-Kat | 263 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | HyTeChShOrTy | 189 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Imagine Wagons | 176 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagine Wagons | +5.10 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Roarry420 | +3.48 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | JudeSN | +2.17 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | HyTeChShOrTy | +1.76 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | (>_VOSS_<) | +1.40 | 44 | 55 |





