








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 853 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1663 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1627 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1700 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1318 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,685,984 of utility $252 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artskins | 58% | 103 |
| #2 | ratabirodobanzana | 57% | 61 |
| #3 | Felskins | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | EM BUSCA DA FELICIDADE | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | SINTOMAS DE GANG | 54% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Jabuticaba | 44% | 90 |
| #13 | BLACK STALLION | 44% | 25 |
| #14 | fudido é tu | 44% | 55 |
| #15 | bag of mistake | 43% | 105 |
| #16 | guela | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artskins | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | bag of mistake | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Jabuticaba | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | EM BUSCA DA FELICIDADE | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | minoxidil 4 mg | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artskins | 590 | 0.29 | 18 min |
| #2 | EM BUSCA DA FELICIDADE | 489 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | minoxidil 4 mg | 405 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | SINTOMAS DE GANG | 344 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | bag of mistake | 344 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artskins | +2.44 | 59 | 75 |
| #2 | dog fordo | +2.16 | 70 | 52 |
| #3 | Felskins | +1.37 | 62 | 67 |
| #4 | EM BUSCA DA FELICIDADE | +1.24 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | fudido é tu | +1.05 | 65 | 59 |





