








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,428 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5963 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6118 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5843 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1504 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,636,187 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1063 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | alelelexis | 48% | 137 |
| #9 | Wuli | 48% | 289 |
| #10 | DaMasta | 47% | 255 |
| #11 | -man- | 45% | 47 |
| #12 | _Maxs_ | 42% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaMasta | 16 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | fOrceTea | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Wuli | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | BNG.exe | 6 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | alelelexis | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuli | 716 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | _Maxs_ | 493 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | alelelexis | 480 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | fOrceTea | 416 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | DaMasta | 345 | 0.06 | 10 min |





