








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1046 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 469 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,843 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4147 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5644 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6764 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4288 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,296,489 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | -man- | 50% | 70 |
| #11 | alelelexis | 48% | 196 |
| #12 | fOrceTea | 48% | 171 |
| #13 | The Punisher | 47% | 255 |
| #14 | _Maxs_ | 43% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wuli | 1166 | 0.12 | 33 min |
| #2 | The Punisher | 719 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | alelelexis | 676 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | fOrceTea | 442 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | _Maxs_ | 316 | 0.20 | 7 min |





