








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4398 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3130 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2850 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2780 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $391,621 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiveD | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | luke | 53% | 143 |
| #3 | ott-der-gott | 51% | 102 |
| #4 | Fischi*PeterPanLove<3 | 48% | 87 |
| #5 | scheibe | 46% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | scheibe | 46% | 91 |
| #6 | Nuarb.. | 46% | 35 |
| #7 | fuchur | 43% | 54 |
| #8 | Offbeat | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Mupples | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luke | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ott-der-gott | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | fuchur | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | scheibe | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Fischi*PeterPanLove<3 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luke | 586 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | scheibe | 377 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | ott-der-gott | 295 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | fuchur | 212 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Fischi*PeterPanLove<3 | 173 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiveD | +3.67 | 76 | 68 |
| #2 | luke | +2.67 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | fuchur | +2.61 | 73 | 75 |
| #4 | r4Nd | +0.19 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | scheibe | -0.23 | 70 | 69 |





