








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3768 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3542 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3167 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3075 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,143,772 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fucHs 🦊 | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | LiveD | 59% | 64 |
| #3 | kaese | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | ott-der-gott | 55% | 135 |
| #5 | scheibe | 55% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | fuchur | 53% | 106 |
| #8 | blackstorm | 52% | 23 |
| #9 | Fischi*PeterPanLove<3 | 51% | 81 |
| #10 | Nuarb.. | 50% | 22 |
| #11 | Mupples | 50% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ott-der-gott | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | r4Nd | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | kaese | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | fucHs 🦊 | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | scheibe | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r4Nd | 707 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | scheibe | 596 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | fuchur | 492 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #4 | ott-der-gott | 402 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Mupples | 364 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fucHs 🦊 | +3.44 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | LiveD | +2.46 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | luke | +2.19 | 60 | 73 |
| #4 | fuchur | +1.83 | 74 | 75 |
| #5 | scheibe | +0.05 | 70 | 71 |





