








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 477 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4158 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4617 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4625 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4604 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,153,158 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Chip | 49% | 249 |
| #8 | FLReapZz | 49% | 70 |
| #9 | MX63 | 45% | 88 |
| #10 | SchurkeMitGurke9 | 45% | 47 |
| #11 | Akira Yuki Uwu | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el´Klappstuhl | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Chip | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | CatDestroyer88 | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MX63 | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | PwN3|] | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chip | 379 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | CatDestroyer88 | 303 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | el´Klappstuhl | 202 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | MX63 | 184 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | PwN3|] | 126 | 0.08 | 3 min |





