








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1327 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2121 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2396 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2130 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,298 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CatDestroyer88 | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | headlete | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | 4314 | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Vincent Vega 1312 ♥ | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Seeedya | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Seeedya | 58% | 33 |
| #6 | EisTee | 54% | 80 |
| #7 | rask' | 51% | 47 |
| #8 | el´Klappstuhl | 51% | 87 |
| #9 | MX63 | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el´Klappstuhl | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | EisTee | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | rask' | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | MX63 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | headlete | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el´Klappstuhl | 210 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | EisTee | 205 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | headlete | 117 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | MX63 | 97 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Seeedya | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CatDestroyer88 | +4.48 | 92 | 53 |
| #2 | MX63 | +2.14 | 63 | 74 |
| #3 | EisTee | +1.42 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | 4314 | +1.05 | 69 | 52 |
| #5 | headlete | +1.02 | 39 | 71 |





