








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,003 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1139 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2000 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1678 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $166,470 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lillegud | 35% | 31 |
| #6 | TBall | 31% | 29 |
| #7 | Disco Dolphin | 29% | 34 |
| #8 | Hercraft ♿ | 29% | 41 |
| #9 | behanc- | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 132 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pølse i svøb | 94 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Disco Dolphin | 91 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Private Palme | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hercraft ♿ | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hercraft ♿ | +1.19 | 54 | 63 |
| #2 | Jürgen med umlaut | +0.41 | 36 | 64 |
| #3 | TBall | +0.37 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | lillegud | +0.30 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Private Palme | +0.03 | 49 | 62 |





