








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3279 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3561 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3813 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,783,337 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ank ™ | 51% | 49 |
| #8 | ZedRTZ | 51% | 51 |
| #9 | T ö k i k e e | 49% | 37 |
| #10 | 𝕸𝖗×𝕮𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖓 | 45% | 29 |
| #11 | requal | 44% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HUSZKA | 395 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | pablex | 303 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | requal | 270 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | ZedRTZ | 224 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | 𝕸𝖗×𝕮𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖓 | 198 | 0.30 | 5 min |





