








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 807 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1165 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1033 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,974 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Auto. | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Addy | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | cReamy | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | blyatro | 50% | 113 |
| #5 | del monte | 47% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Addy | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | cReamy | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | blyatro | 50% | 113 |
| #5 | del monte | 47% | 101 |
| #6 | Danetech | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | del monte | 21 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | cReamy | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Das Auto. | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | blyatro | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Danetech | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blyatro | 587 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | del monte | 353 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | cReamy | 191 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Danetech | 111 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Addy | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Auto. | +2.38 | 78 | 48 |
| #2 | cReamy | +1.38 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | Addy | +1.16 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | blyatro | +0.61 | 72 | 74 |
| #5 | Danetech | -0.35 | 72 | 51 |





