








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4268 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2416 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2492 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1581 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,541 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Moogster | 50% | 113 |
| #4 | Addy | 48% | 60 |
| #5 | del monte | 47% | 226 |
| #6 | cReamy | 46% | 160 |
| #7 | Danetech | 43% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | del monte | 37 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | cReamy | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Moogster | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Das Auto. | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Addy | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | del monte | 771 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | cReamy | 443 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Moogster | 213 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Danetech | 193 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Addy | 189 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Auto. | +1.67 | 75 | 41 |
| #2 | cReamy | +0.94 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | Addy | +0.82 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | blyatro | +0.54 | 72 | 74 |
| #5 | Danetech | -0.42 | 74 | 53 |





