








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 380 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3046 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1493 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1145 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1809 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,813 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 😵R₨⌶⌶ | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | .ePT Tayco | 66% | 56 |
| #3 | v | 65% | 77 |
| #4 | Mist Vi | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | EdgeG | 56% | 283 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mist Vi | 58% | 24 |
| #5 | EdgeG | 56% | 283 |
| #6 | ·wheelchair· | 56% | 18 |
| #7 | special k | 55% | 223 |
| #8 | Five-Seven | 52% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | special k | 20 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | EdgeG | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | .ePT Tayco | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | v | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Five-Seven | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | special k | 732 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | EdgeG | 617 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | Five-Seven | 327 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | v | 273 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | .ePT Tayco | 131 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 😵R₨⌶⌶ | +2.54 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | v | +2.21 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | EdgeG | +1.89 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | .ePT Tayco | +1.83 | 86 | 59 |
| #5 | ·wheelchair· | +1.78 | 65 | 40 |





