








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6537 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3562 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1676 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 3169 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,341 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilsnerP | 61% | 145 |
| #2 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | Thades | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | Jeppee | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilsnerP | 61% | 145 |
| #2 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 52% | 130 |
| #3 | Thades | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 44% | 43 |
| #5 | Jeppee | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 19 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | PilsnerP | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Jeppee | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilsnerP | 656 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | Absolutely not reformed turv | 238 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #3 | 𝐉𝟎𝐧𝐚𝐳 Jonas 3 | 233 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Thades | 224 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jeppee | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PilsnerP | +2.57 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | YepsteR | +2.06 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | Absolutely not reformed turv | -0.32 | 67 | 51 |
| #4 | Jeppee | -0.47 | 86 | 66 |
| #5 | Thades | -1.11 | 53 | 68 |





