








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,757 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1309 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2098 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1082 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1268 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,243 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thempson | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Lude | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | Alaskantaikuri | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Juiced | 54% | 139 |
| #5 | sepi | 53% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Juiced | 54% | 139 |
| #5 | sepi | 53% | 217 |
| #6 | MooseRum | 53% | 221 |
| #7 | Oiska | 51% | 146 |
| #8 | NakkiDAI | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepi | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Juiced | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | MooseRum | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Oiska | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooseRum | 1437 | 0.29 | 39 min |
| #2 | sepi | 824 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Juiced | 292 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Oiska | 140 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lude | 106 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sepi | +3.15 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | MooseRum | +0.40 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | Lude | +0.40 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | Juiced | -0.65 | 63 | 67 |
| #5 | Alaskantaikuri | -1.01 | 66 | 69 |





