








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1559 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6070 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7006 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7807 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8295 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,618,031 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1331 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ☠︎ℌ︎a℣ℯ︎ ℕ︎☠ | 36% | 196 |
| #6 | SkommelLappie | 35% | 187 |
| #7 | Maximus Erectus | 34% | 85 |
| #8 | Jubster | 34% | 103 |
| #9 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | 31% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LALApaloozer<3 | 52 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | SkommelLappie | 50 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Giga_Chad 💪 | 31 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Crispy B@con | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ☠︎ℌ︎a℣ℯ︎ ℕ︎☠ | 10 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LALApaloozer<3 | 778 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | Crispy B@con | 514 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | Giga_Chad 💪 | 400 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | SkommelLappie | 340 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Maximus Erectus | 131 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy B@con | +1.74 | 51 | 60 |
| #2 | ☠︎ℌ︎a℣ℯ︎ ℕ︎☠ | +1.60 | 27 | 35 |
| #3 | Giga_Chad 💪 | +1.07 | 41 | 62 |
| #4 | SkommelLappie | -0.06 | 25 | 66 |
| #5 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | -0.09 | 44 | 29 |





