








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1015 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 953 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7175 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6177 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 7461 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 8114 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,797,276 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | LALApaloozer<3 | 43% | 637 |
| #8 | Foolio | 42% | 275 |
| #9 | [CIG†] Tranix17 | 42% | 98 |
| #10 | ⚔Adolf Yeetler⚔ | 42% | 139 |
| #11 | Maximus Erectus | 31% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LALApaloozer<3 | 62 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | SkommelLappie | 45 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Giga_Chad 💪 | 25 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Foolio | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ⚔Adolf Yeetler⚔ | 7 | 0.0023 |





