










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 508 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5690 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6056 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4802 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5112 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1580 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,753,112 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2005 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrippyDrip | 55% | 85 |
| #2 | YoScratched | 53% | 120 |
| #3 | Trashy Himbo | 52% | 233 |
| #4 | goonhound | 51% | 123 |
| #5 | goku marine ✝☪✡ | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | god | 51% | 67 |
| #8 | ????? | 50% | 42 |
| #9 | memesworthmorethanyourcar | 48% | 46 |
| #10 | Nocreativity420 | 45% | 126 |
| #11 | Firewurk | 41% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trashy Himbo | 20 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | goku marine ✝☪✡ | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | goonhound | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | YoScratched | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | ????? | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trashy Himbo | 1451 | 0.30 | 32 min |
| #2 | goonhound | 305 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Nocreativity420 | 213 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | goku marine ✝☪✡ | 211 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Firewurk | 184 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YoScratched | +2.07 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | god | +1.92 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | Trashy Himbo | +1.37 | 38 | 53 |
| #4 | goonhound | +0.79 | 43 | 66 |
| #5 | Firewurk | +0.35 | 36 | 83 |





