








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1223 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1339 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 952 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1136 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,495 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulliam | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Him/Him | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | lil b | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | Trashy Himbo | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | goonhound | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulliam | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Him/Him | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | lil b | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | Trashy Himbo | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | goonhound | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil b | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Trashy Himbo | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Stulliam | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Him/Him | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | goonhound | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil b | 192 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Trashy Himbo | 162 | 0.39 | 4 min |
| #3 | Stulliam | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Him/Him | 42 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | goonhound | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Him/Him | +4.41 | 83 | 55 |
| #2 | Trashy Himbo | +3.21 | 27 | 52 |
| #3 | god | +2.03 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | Stulliam | +0.56 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | goonhound | -0.37 | 48 | 68 |





