








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 852 | 31% |
| Smokes | 672 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,148 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REBORN zck | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ARDELA | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | REBORN SpikwaN | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Pancho.∼︎∼ | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | Rusty | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | intiSSJ3 | 50% | 4 |
| #10 | Wolf | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | ✪ Eminence ♛ | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | | ZENDO | 40% | 5 |
| #13 | MATI BOSS! | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ぷ ShoDe3 ぷ | 10 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | Pancho.∼︎∼ | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | cLassicK | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Wolf | 3 | 0.0134 |
| #5 | ✪ Eminence ♛ | 3 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLassicK | 265 | 0.39 | 4 min |
| #2 | ぷ ShoDe3 ぷ | 185 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pancho.∼︎∼ | 165 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | MATI BOSS! | 66 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Eminence ♛ | 40 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REBORN zck | +3.29 | 67 | 60 |
| #2 | cLassicK | +3.02 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | Pancho.∼︎∼ | +1.95 | 56 | 60 |
| #4 | ぷ ShoDe3 ぷ | +1.87 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Wolf | +1.51 | 72 | 53 |





