








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 311 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,544 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3050 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2893 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3547 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3054 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,811,673 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spaßmeister | 55% | 156 |
| #2 | Rico.inc | 53% | 85 |
| #3 | Der Stein | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | ☯s0meh0wdy | 52% | 129 |
| #5 | .inc | 50% | 298 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯s0meh0wdy | 492 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | .inc | 485 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | QQEdelstoff | 292 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Spaßmeister | 278 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | ☯fetter Monétoboi(2) | 265 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯fetter Monétoboi(2) | +3.97 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Spaßmeister | +2.93 | 94 | 65 |
| #3 | ☯s0meh0wdy | +2.48 | 88 | 71 |
| #4 | Der Stein | +1.74 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | .inc | +1.11 | 71 | 66 |





