








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2546 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4073 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4137 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2546 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,338 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der Stein | 58% | 50 |
| #2 | Spaßmeister | 58% | 109 |
| #3 | ✪ zen1th | 51% | 77 |
| #4 | jr | 50% | 298 |
| #5 | Rico.inc | 49% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jr | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | QQEdelstoff | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ☯fetter Monétoboi(2) | 7 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | ☯s0meh0wdy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | ✪ zen1th | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jr | 385 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #2 | ☯s0meh0wdy | 379 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | ☯fetter Monétoboi(2) | 277 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | QQEdelstoff | 257 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Spaßmeister | 202 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯fetter Monétoboi(2) | +3.64 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | Spaßmeister | +2.97 | 93 | 65 |
| #3 | ☯s0meh0wdy | +2.58 | 88 | 72 |
| #4 | Der Stein | +2.02 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | .inc | +1.60 | 72 | 65 |





