








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 476 | 28% |
| Smokes | 756 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 122 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,760 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joel. | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | IDC | 45% | 83 |
| #3 | PissBucket2000 | 43% | 120 |
| #4 | taylalex | 42% | 83 |
| #5 | Rigobert | 40% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rigobert | 40% | 134 |
| #6 | poopnoodle (Gigi) | 28% | 25 |
| #7 | Dadam | 28% | 25 |
| #8 | luka tim | 27% | 11 |
| #9 | chickenz | 23% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rigobert | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | PissBucket2000 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | taylalex | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | IDC | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Dadam | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PissBucket2000 | 682 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | Rigobert | 372 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | taylalex | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | poopnoodle (Gigi) | 88 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | IDC | 83 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | luka tim | +3.66 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | Joel. | +1.23 | 96 | 29 |
| #3 | IDC | +1.00 | 62 | 46 |
| #4 | rjdub | +0.84 | 69 | 39 |
| #5 | poopnoodle (Gigi) | +0.20 | 62 | 50 |





