








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 556 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4033 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3777 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3789 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4710 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2846 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,201,525 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | coolboii | 52% | 88 |
| #7 | kroesus | 52% | 75 |
| #8 | discoboi | 52% | 87 |
| #9 | the squirrel | 50% | 110 |
| #10 | Kevin Kurányi | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guccifer | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | coolboii | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | meniK_ | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | discoboi | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Tesseract | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guccifer | 596 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | meniK_ | 383 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | anti | 255 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | the squirrel | 224 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tesseract | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin Kurányi | +3.08 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | panic | +0.91 | 61 | 64 |
| #3 | guccifer | +0.66 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | meniK_ | +0.59 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | Tesseract | +0.37 | 67 | 58 |





