








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 353 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6719 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4872 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5439 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5571 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,112,628 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 401 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anti | 60% | 65 |
| #2 | panic | 54% | 154 |
| #3 | Kevin Kurányi | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | guccifer | 49% | 217 |
| #5 | Tesseract | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tesseract | 46% | 37 |
| #6 | the squirrel | 44% | 106 |
| #7 | kroesus | 44% | 57 |
| #8 | discoboi | 44% | 62 |
| #9 | coolboii | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guccifer | 14 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | coolboii | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | the squirrel | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | discoboi | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Kevin Kurányi | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | guccifer | 594 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #2 | panic | 341 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | the squirrel | 236 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | anti | 185 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | kroesus | 131 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin Kurányi | +3.26 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | meniK_ | +1.18 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | panic | +0.53 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | guccifer | +0.37 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | anti | +0.13 | 66 | 58 |





