








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 183 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,640 | |
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2024 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1981 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3170 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2687 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,464 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RØNNY-HS | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | PeGz | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | fillepus | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Suppe | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Bergem | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeGz | 630 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | Suppe | 334 | 0.37 | 11 min |
| #3 | RØNNY-HS | 262 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | CosMO | 259 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #5 | fillepus | 247 | 0.24 | 7 min |





