








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 33% |
| Smokes | 563 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 816 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 438 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $395,316 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mave | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | jaska | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | Tomi =DD | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Herbz | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Gusfraba | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Vilze | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | LeFu | 40% | 30 |
| #12 | HOMO:DD | 38% | 16 |
| #13 | Anders Breivik | 35% | 20 |
| #14 | LAURI:-DD | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaska | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Vilze | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Anders Breivik | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Pummi | 2 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | LeFu | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaska | 132 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Herbz | 72 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #3 | LeFu | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | k4pteeni | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vilze | 58 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaska | +3.20 | 82 | 69 |
| #2 | mave | +2.78 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | HOMO:DD | +2.77 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Vilze | +1.47 | 91 | 58 |
| #5 | kasbulla | +0.23 | 82 | 50 |





