








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1662 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1040 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1238 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 908 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,137 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | PandaWafer | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | phd in getting scammed | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | PandaWafer | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | phd in getting scammed | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phd in getting scammed | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 1 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | PandaWafer | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phd in getting scammed | 58 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #2 | PandaWafer | 46 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #3 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | 15 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PandaWafer | +3.42 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | cheesekurd of the eat | +1.95 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | ~snooples💤™🤤😋🗿 | -0.33 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | phd in getting scammed | -0.51 | 57 | 51 |





