








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Esplay | 45 matches | 2,132 | |
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2513 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3119 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,530 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 901 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spezle | 67% | 45 |
| #2 | cj | 63% | 166 |
| #3 | kanzel | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | egem | 61% | 82 |
| #5 | ✪ exib0 | 56% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | cj | 63% | 166 |
| #3 | kanzel | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | egem | 61% | 82 |
| #5 | ✪ exib0 | 56% | 122 |
| #6 | mok | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egem | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | cj | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ✪ exib0 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | spezle | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | mok | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egem | 451 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | cj | 432 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✪ exib0 | 200 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | spezle | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | mok | 67 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cj | +3.82 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | spezle | +2.25 | 89 | 50 |
| #3 | ToWzErA | +0.43 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | egem | +0.35 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | kanzel | -0.37 | 64 | 63 |





