








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2480 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1805 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3696 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3181 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,434 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pzy7 | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Lime | 46% | 81 |
| #3 | Avarice | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | WOOKA novaMeister 24756 kills | 34% | 44 |
| #5 | z0E. | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pzy7 | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Lime | 46% | 81 |
| #3 | Avarice | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | WOOKA novaMeister 24756 kills | 34% | 44 |
| #5 | z0E. | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOOKA novaMeister 24756 kills | 10 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Lime | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Pzy7 | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | z0E. | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lime | 205 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Avarice | 176 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pzy7 | 107 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | WOOKA novaMeister 24756 kills | 55 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | z0E. | 18 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lime | +0.56 | 36 | 73 |
| #2 | Pzy7 | +0.38 | 35 | 64 |
| #3 | A L O Y S I U S | +0.16 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Avarice | -0.47 | 39 | 52 |
| #5 | z0E. | -1.52 | 54 | 52 |





