








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1682 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1587 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1461 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1398 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,417 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anarkia | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | jarNzgator | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | pekkiS | 73% | 11 |
| #4 | komu | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | wTy | 63% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | ☣Acéツ | 48% | 29 |
| #13 | jNN | 48% | 67 |
| #14 | skai | 40% | 15 |
| #15 | keks | 38% | 16 |
| #16 | petemonni | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waltsu | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | ☣Acéツ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | jöpsykkä | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | skai | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jNN | 204 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | petemonni | 165 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | jöpsykkä | 146 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | wTy | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | waltsu | 106 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | +2.57 | 92 | 78 |
| #2 | skai | +1.75 | 81 | 42 |
| #3 | RMELO/W/ | +1.75 | 84 | 78 |
| #4 | vidduonni | +1.62 | 72 | 79 |
| #5 | wTy | +0.47 | 82 | 69 |





