










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 687 | 28% |
| Smokes | 436 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 579 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 715 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,635 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vivi | 50% | 66 |
| #2 | Nelly | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | ari | 47% | 38 |
| #4 | Caz | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | chort | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Caz | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | chort | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | SAb0 | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Insleight² | 13% | 8 |
| #8 | rhea | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAb0 | 3 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | vivi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | ari | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Nelly | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Caz | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ari | 117 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | vivi | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Caz | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | chort | 39 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | rhea | 32 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nelly | +5.34 | 87 | 42 |
| #2 | chort | +5.21 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Caz | +4.49 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | SAb0 | +2.35 | 83 | 31 |
| #5 | vivi | +2.18 | 52 | 35 |





