








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 935 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1425 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1126 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $699,912 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | on_Schwab | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Gordo | 59% | 29 |
| #4 | 𝓕𝓪𝓲𝓻𝔂 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Insleight² | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Nelly | 39% | 44 |
| #11 | Insleight | 37% | 27 |
| #12 | vivi | 36% | 25 |
| #13 | 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒𝑠𝑠 | 25% | 12 |
| #14 | Insleight³ | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAb0 | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Nelly | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | ari | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Insleight | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | armchair diamond | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ari | 314 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | SAb0 | 259 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | chort | 90 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #4 | armchair diamond | 64 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nelly | 48 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chort | +3.52 | 85 | 75 |
| #2 | Caz | +2.73 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | Nelly | +1.32 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | SAb0 | +0.90 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Insleight | -0.15 | 43 | 30 |





