








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 96 | 6% |
| Smokes | 542 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 510 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,412 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WagonBurns | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | chort | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Nelly | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | pixie | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | vivi | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StormBolio | 2 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Caz | 2 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | ari | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | SAb0 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ari | 126 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | SAb0 | 80 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | armchair diamond | 42 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | Caz | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caz | +3.80 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | 𝕯𝖗𝖎𝖕 | +1.30 | 69 | 43 |
| #3 | chort | +1.29 | 81 | 76 |
| #4 | SAb0 | +1.28 | 74 | 54 |
| #5 | pixie | +1.17 | 70 | 56 |





