








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
363 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 306 | 22% |
| Smokes | 403 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 340 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 329 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,128 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zale | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | ✪PrOsPeR | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Sheldon_Sniper | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | Big_Melon | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | Dadz | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Big_Melon | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | Dadz | 44% | 25 |
| #6 | PG-PaT :D | 42% | 38 |
| #7 | BigNeb | 38% | 45 |
| #8 | Hazzer | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigNeb | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Big_Melon | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Dadz | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Hazzer | 2 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | PG-PaT :D | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigNeb | 158 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Big_Melon | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | PG-PaT :D | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪PrOsPeR | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Hazzer | 62 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sheldon_Sniper | +3.09 | 76 | 65 |
| #2 | Big_Melon | +0.90 | 52 | 52 |
| #3 | PG-PaT :D | +0.19 | 69 | 54 |
| #4 | Hazzer | -0.09 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | Zale | -0.14 | 69 | 50 |





