










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
152 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 230 | 36% |
| Smokes | 145 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 178 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $88,658 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samson | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Niklas | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | R. | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | クリス | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Kulde | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | クリス | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | Kulde | 55% | 22 |
| #6 | Hakon | 50% | 2 |
| #7 | ✪ 0NCE™✪ | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | Chaze | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R. | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Kulde | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Samson | 1 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaze | 69 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #2 | R. | 51 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kulde | 50 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | クリス | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hakon | 10 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakon | +5.23 | 51 | 54 |
| #2 | Kulde | +4.21 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | R. | +3.44 | 75 | 71 |
| #4 | クリス | +3.37 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Chaze | +1.77 | 81 | 70 |





