








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1735 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2416 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3851 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2879 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,811 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousley | 48% | 326 |
| #2 | Misfire | 47% | 270 |
| #3 | DroopyDave | 47% | 283 |
| #4 | St1cky | 47% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousley | 48% | 326 |
| #2 | Misfire | 47% | 270 |
| #3 | DroopyDave | 47% | 283 |
| #4 | St1cky | 47% | 276 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Misfire | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Cousley | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | DroopyDave | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | St1cky | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St1cky | 498 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | Cousley | 233 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #3 | Misfire | 228 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | DroopyDave | 199 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousley | +0.85 | 78 | 45 |
| #2 | St1cky | +0.80 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | Misfire | +0.31 | 60 | 40 |
| #4 | Josh | -0.43 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | DroopyDave | -1.86 | 44 | 46 |





