








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2442 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3704 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3507 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3289 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,904 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousley | 49% | 275 |
| #2 | Misfire | 48% | 278 |
| #3 | Josh | 47% | 276 |
| #4 | DroopyDave | 45% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cousley | 49% | 275 |
| #2 | Misfire | 48% | 278 |
| #3 | Josh | 47% | 276 |
| #4 | DroopyDave | 45% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Misfire | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Cousley | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Josh | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | DroopyDave | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Josh | 349 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | Misfire | 198 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cousley | 190 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | DroopyDave | 172 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St1cky | +0.87 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | Cousley | +0.84 | 78 | 45 |
| #3 | Misfire | -0.06 | 59 | 39 |
| #4 | Josh | -0.41 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | DroopyDave | -1.81 | 44 | 46 |





