








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1448 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3126 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1508 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,765 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Daginal Vischarge | 50% | 125 |
| #7 | spRite | 50% | 26 |
| #8 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | 48% | 80 |
| #9 | aksh | 44% | 27 |
| #10 | Lewis | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daginal Vischarge | +3.98 | 87 | 46 |
| #2 | Maximus Decimus Meridius | +2.90 | 78 | 49 |
| #3 | Woody | +2.84 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | spRite | +2.03 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | cloody | +1.70 | 63 | 60 |





