








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5285 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2088 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3875 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1342 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $927,903 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | tango | 47% | 43 |
| #10 | BW4LL | 46% | 41 |
| #11 | ☮Pegasus☮ | 40% | 45 |
| #12 | abe froman | 36% | 44 |
| #13 | BullsEye<3 | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tango | 7 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | killvolume | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Shrimpy | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | markzilla | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | djtl | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djtl | 359 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | killvolume | 280 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | eraser99er | 257 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | BW4LL | 169 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | markzilla | 168 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djtl | +2.46 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | killvolume | +2.20 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | ☮Pegasus☮ | +2.17 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | BullsEye<3 | +2.08 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | Shrimpy | +0.88 | 50 | 54 |





