










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 184 | 21% |
| Smokes | 209 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 222 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 257 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $112,875 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HelixDizzy | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | George Clooney ♿⛟♿⛟♿ | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | I C Wiener XO | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HelixDizzy | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | George Clooney ♿⛟♿⛟♿ | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | I C Wiener XO | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George Clooney ♿⛟♿⛟♿ | 1 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | I C Wiener XO | 1 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I C Wiener XO | 18 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #2 | George Clooney ♿⛟♿⛟♿ | 9 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | HelixDizzy | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HelixDizzy | +5.23 | 75 | 37 |
| #2 | I C Wiener XO | +4.91 | 68 | 77 |
| #3 | George Clooney ♿⛟♿⛟♿ | +1.21 | 58 | 65 |
| #4 | Serial Gooner | -2.17 | 24 | 53 |





