










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1713 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1088 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1264 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $566,960 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mordenner | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Donatelo | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Leonardo | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | Mr.e_glitch | 50% | 112 |
| #5 | Bracka | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Leonardo | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | Mr.e_glitch | 50% | 112 |
| #5 | Bracka | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | skanas16 | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | Domestic Violence #MANPWR #BOP | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.e_glitch | 16 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Bracka | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | mordenner | 4 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | Leonardo | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Donatelo | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bracka | 395 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mr.e_glitch | 152 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Leonardo | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Donatelo | 33 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | mordenner | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mordenner | +4.44 | 93 | 57 |
| #2 | Donatelo | +2.43 | 67 | 35 |
| #3 | pepofromlepo | +1.38 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | Mr.e_glitch | +0.69 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Bracka | +0.47 | 64 | 65 |





