








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6090 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4466 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6243 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2174 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 4578 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,067,069 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | John Rocker | 47% | 75 |
| #14 | Paladin742 | 46% | 263 |
| #15 | D0NL | 45% | 121 |
| #16 | 1O1Box | 39% | 76 |
| #17 | ElusiveSmoke | 32% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decept | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | The Dusty Chest | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | GGEZ | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | P A I N | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Andro | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decept | 1260 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | Socks | 478 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | The Dusty Chest | 472 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | P A I N | 391 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #5 | PapaRevVv | 360 | 0.20 | 10 min |





