








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1995 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2294 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2155 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1621 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,102,724 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGetMoreAssThanAToiletSeat | 52% | 198 |
| #2 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 49% | 172 |
| #3 | Racial Cleanser | 48% | 143 |
| #4 | JUN | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | plsstoptrumpdump | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGetMoreAssThanAToiletSeat | 52% | 198 |
| #2 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 49% | 172 |
| #3 | Racial Cleanser | 48% | 143 |
| #4 | JUN | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | plsstoptrumpdump | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IGetMoreAssThanAToiletSeat | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Racial Cleanser | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | plsstoptrumpdump | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 299 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | IGetMoreAssThanAToiletSeat | 252 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | JUN | 206 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Racial Cleanser | 130 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | plsstoptrumpdump | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im gay, call me at 147324579 | +4.39 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | JUN | +0.72 | 46 | 61 |
| #3 | IGetMoreAssThanAToiletSeat | -0.11 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | plsstoptrumpdump | -0.98 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | -1.94 | 50 | 38 |





