








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 416 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1499 | 12% |
| Smokes | 4087 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4239 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3114 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,179,463 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUN | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | im gay, call me at 147324579 | 52% | 198 |
| #3 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 48% | 200 |
| #4 | Knee Grow King | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | Racial Cleanser | 45% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JUN | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | im gay, call me at 147324579 | 52% | 198 |
| #3 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 48% | 200 |
| #4 | Knee Grow King | 47% | 107 |
| #5 | Racial Cleanser | 45% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im gay, call me at 147324579 | 36 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Knee Grow King | 15 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Racial Cleanser | 7 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im gay, call me at 147324579 | 709 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Knee Grow King | 384 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | 327 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Racial Cleanser | 161 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | JUN | 119 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | im gay, call me at 147324579 | +4.68 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | Knee Grow King | +3.81 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | JUN | +2.42 | 41 | 62 |
| #4 | IGetMoreAssThanAToiletSeat | -0.25 | 57 | 64 |
| #5 | gurt: yo sybau tspmo | -2.10 | 50 | 39 |





